That hat – and Beatrice shows her true class.

I must put my hands up and admit that I was among the many who went to print, mocking Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie’s lack of style with their choice of outfits for the Royal Wedding. My comments weren’t particularly nasty, a little unkind maybe, but not as vitriolic as the deluge of insults that followed.

‘The hat’ became an internet sensation, with mock ups of Beatrice’s headgear showing it as a cat flap and even a toilet. And Eugenie was ridiculed for wearing an outfit that appeared to be poorly finished, too tight and unflattering.

But we shouldn’t really be criticising these young girls. It is their designers who should know better. The reason Kate’s wedding dress was such a success was because the designer, Sarah Burton, made sure that the style flattered her client, enabling Kate’s natural beauty to shine through. There was no ego involved in the creation which is probably what makes Sarah such a very special creative director for the Alexander McQueen fashion house.

It is Vivien Westwood, the designer of Eugenie’s dress and Philip Treacy, who put together Beatrice’s hat, who should be mocked. They would have been paid handsomely for these pieces, and they did not do right by their clients. 

Coco Chanel once said ‘Fashion is architecture: it is a matter of proportions’

Beatrice’s Valentino Coat and dress were beautiful, and Treacy should have crafted something in proportion. Eugenie has a lovely, curvy figure and Westwood should have created an ensemble to enhance her shape, not bundle it up.

If we are going to bang on about style, let’s not forget that a bigger faux pas was the Prime Minister’s wife, Samantha Cameron not even wearing a hat at all – at least the Princesses cannot be accused of failing to join in with the spirit of the occasion.

So - 9 /10 for Prince Andrew’s daughters and 2/10 for Treacy and Westwood.

At the end of the day, none of this really matters – and as Treacy said ‘no-one is crying’ (easy for him to say – he didn’t have to wear the thing)

But the last laugh goes to the Princesses. Eugenie continues to smile her adorable smile and Beatrice has played the master stroke of auctioning the headpiece on ebay. It’s expected to fetch at least £5,000 for her two favourite good causes, Unicef and Children in Crisis.

Beatrice said ‘, “I've been amazed by the amount of attention the hat has attracted. It's a wonderful opportunity to raise as much money as possible for two fantastic charities. - I hope whoever wins the auction has as much fun with the hat as I have.”

Now that’s what I call real style.

FIFA Corruption allegations – what should England do next?

So FIFA is corrupt, with six executive committee members asking for bribes in return for World Cup votes according to Lord Triesman, former FA (UK Football Association) Chairman.  This is just about as shocking as stating that the earth is round and Katie Price likes publicity. Nothing new there then.

Triesman was speaking at a parliamentary select committee yesterday, a full 5 months after the World Cup tournaments for 2018 and 2022 were awarded to Russia and Qatar respectively. One cannot help but visualise a horse galloping away long before the stable door has been considered– let alone locked.

The clue was pretty much in the decision. As I blogged at the time – the venues that were beneficiaries of the shock selections had many things in common:

•     Patchy (or none at all) footballing history

•     No evidence of a universal love of the game in each nation winning the bid

•     No existing footballing infrastructure

•     Poor technical assessment (Russia) and unsuitable conditions (extreme heat in Qatar)

•     Rich and powerful men, backed by rich and powerful governments leading the bid.

Mmm – I think we can safely say that the final point – with maybe an emphasis on RICH is the key here.

But enough of being a bad loser – how must England react?

Trying to smash the (alleged) corruption within the International governing body for football is a near impossible task, especially while the indominatable, shifty and deeply unlikable Sepp Blatter stays in charge. He has orchestrated almost certain re-election next month.

If we continue to whinge on about our disappointment we will become a laughing stock in the football hierarchy and Triesman’s decision to wait until now to expose this alleged corruption is questionable.

We could walk away from the World Cup altogether and refuse to play a team in the 2018 and 2022 tournaments. But that would achieve very little – apart from exiling our international footballers and robbing the country of at least a faint hope of glory.

No – the best revenge is happiness. And in World Cup terms – happiness is success. The FA need to find a decent, (as in honourable and talented) British manager to lead an International team that is supported in every way to win the trophy. A winter break in the Premiership season to minimise the chances of injury to tired limbs, a supportive national press and an effective PR campaign to engage the fans and increase pride in the team.

Ian Wright, the Arsenal and English player, refused to accept expenses when he played for England because he said that he was so proud to wear the England shirt that he needed no payment. That’s the sort of spirit we need to engender. One of the endearing national characteristics of the English people is that we respond well when our backs are to the wall.

So c’mon Engerland. Leave the politics to one side, concentrate on the beautiful game and plan a strategy to win – not in the corrupt corridors of Football politics – but where it counts -  on the pitch.

Ten reasons I love football:

My Dad: As a native Scot, my father embraced English football when he married an Englishwoman. He stood on the terraces of the Dell, the home of Southampton Football Club, at every home game for many years. When he watched (on TV) the Saints score the winning goal of the FA cup final 7 minutes before the final whistle, Daddy did two things – he sent Mother out of the room because she had a habit of standing in front of the screen at a crucial moment – and he spent the remaining minutes of the match with his head under a cushion – couldn’t bear to watch. So of course I love football.

The legends: From the flawed genius of Georgie Best to the magnificent Bobby Moore.

The quiet dignity of Sir Matt Busby, the surreal quotations of Eric Cantona, and the gentility of Sir Bobby Robson, football history is awash with remarkable characters.

Being part of a huge crowd, mostly wanting the same thing: The atmosphere among a 76,000 strong realm at Old Trafford celebrating as Manchester United score in the 4th minute of extra time is awesome. (I was there to witness the goal scored 36 seconds after kick off against Chelsea this afternoon - the stadium literally rocked)

The agony and the ecstasy: Like any team sport with a limited time frame for each match, the excitement can be breathtaking. Often the result is not guaranteed until that final whistle blows. Penalties?  If you are an England supporter – more agony than ecstasy.

The punditry: Both professional and amateur. Often banal, sometimes amusing, occasionally intelligent, watching the expert and not-so-expert talk football is always a good way to pass the time.

The male totty:  They may be few and far between, but there are some very fit (in the non sporty sense of the word!) footballers on the world stage. Whatever you may think of Christiano Ronaldo – I defy any woman not to admire his torso when he takes his shirt off at the end of a big match. (Even if you don’t like football – tune in for the last few minutes of a big match – the players swap shirts…)

David Beckham: No explanation needed.

A universal language: ‘We woz robbed’ ‘I’m gutted’ and ‘The referee’s a ……’ can be understood across the world.

It’s one of the certainties of life: Like death and taxes – football will always be with us (and a lot more fun than either)

It’s second only to singing for exercising your vocal chords: Screaming at your team, either in disgust or encouragement is so liberating. I tend not to use bad language as I don’t seem to be very good at it but I do have the dubious honour of being cautioned by the stewards at Stamford Bridge (Chelsea’s home ground) for ‘inciting riotous behaviour’

Riotous behaviour? Moi? Gutted……

Voting can be fun…

Whenever I have the opportunity to vote, I always offer a silent prayer of thanks for the efforts of Emmeline Pankhurst and the suffragettes who paved the way for  women to have the opportunity to vote in 1918.

I also consider those so much less fortunate that us in the ‘free world’ who still risk a bullet when they make a stand for democracy.

As I place my X in the appropriate box, I get a feeling of wellbeing, similar (but less uncomfortable) to when I donate blood – the sense that one is making a least some tiny contribution to the common good. And yesterday’s local elections and alternative voting referendum in the UK was no exception.

But on a lighter note - voting can be about so much more than your collective responsibility to society. It can be fun and informative too!

I shall never forget the first time I voted in a general election. Feeling very grown up – at 18 years old, I went with my parents to the local village hall to complete my ballot paper. As with most polling stations – there were free-standing three sided booths, often in groups of four or six, to enable privacy while voting. Dippy at the best of times, my mother forgot who she wanted to vote for, and, pen in hand stepped out of the booth to consult my father. As she walked towards him, pen, attached to booth, still in hand, she dragged four booths with her and left three startled voters – standing anchorless and without means to vote -  in the middle of the hall!

Forward at least three decades and I realise that I am nearly as bad. In the general elections last year. I turned up at our local polling station, another village hall, but took the wrong entrance and ended up in an over 50’s Pilates class! I must confess, I had no idea that exercising your democratic right could be so exhausting….

No such mishaps this year, but I did narrowly miss a Women’s Institute meeting. However, after I voted, as I left the hall I walked past two elderly ladies, sitting outside by the entrance. They were both sporting blue rosettes so one could safely assume they were from Camp Cameron (Camp Cameron – that conjures up an image..)

I wasn’t in a hurry so I stopped for a chat. And very interesting it was too. These ladies were extremely well informed and we had a lively debate on the Tories’ first year in power. We came to the conclusion that we agreed on four key points.

1.      The Tory party’s leadership has been weakened by an apparent desire to avoid upsetting their coalition partners (nothing new there then).

2.      Lansley has got it totally, utterly wrong with the Healthcare Reform plans and Cameron needs to step in and backtrack (I was surprised at this as I assumed that ‘non- medical’ people would rather like the idea of patient and GP power – but even the man in the street can see through the rhetoric).

3.      Cameron was right to wear tails to the Royal Wedding but should never have considered wearing a lounge suit as all Heads of state would either be in Uniform or tails.(For my readers from overseas, there was a lot of press about Cameron fearing that dressing up in top hat and tails would make him seem too posh)  Speaking of Posh – Beckham was happy to wear tails of course!!

4.      And perhaps most important – Samantha Cameron should have worn a hat to the Royal Wedding – her fancy hair decoration was ‘simply not enough’!

So there you have it – if you want to find out about the burning political issues of the day, hang around outside a polling station.

But at all costs – avoid rooms full of middle aged ladies in lycra…..

The Royal Wedding - different thought processes of men and women

She thinks…	He thinks…
What a lovely romantic day!	Great to have a day off!
Kate’s dress is beautiful	Pippa Middleton is hot
The train looks fabulous	Pippa’s bum looks fabulous
I wonder what Harry said to William at the altar?	I wonder if Pippa’s wearing any underwear?
I love the way William smiled at his new bride	I like the way Harry seems to be hitting on Pippa
Gosh - David Beckham is handsome	Gosh - David Beckham is handsome
I’m enjoying seeing what everyone is wearing	I’m enjoying watching Pippa’s rear
Wasn’t it romantic having two kisses in the balcony – they seem so much in love?	Wasn’t it great having two fly pasts – the planes were awesome.
How lovely – the two of them driving out of Buckingham Palace in Charles Car.	Lucky William – driving a vintage Aston Martin
I could watch it all over again	Are the pubs still open?